The runaway bride and groom …5 things to remember, so you can make the most it. #2

2) Although you won’t have formal speeches to prepare, think in advance of your vows and include the special words, thoughts, poems, or even music which are personal to you both. So you don’t have the big wedding party or guest list, but emotion will still catch up with you on the day, so it pays to be a little prepared with words.

The runaway bride and groom …5 things to remember, so you can make the most it. #1

1) Treasure the private moments – this is what you are here for! If it means slowing down and stopping to take it all in for 10 minutes, then do it. It’s not like you have a dinner room full of guests waiting for you!

The smoking bride and groom

I smoke but I personally try not to have photographs taken of me with a cigarette. It's quite ugly a bride and groom walking in the street with cigarettes in their hands. While one or two fun 1950's style smoking portraits can be done, I don't recommend smoking while you are having your picture taken. We can have ‘no shooting smoking breaks’ if you are a chain smoker. It’s not too difficult to go a few hours at a time without smoking.

I also recommend mini mints like tic tacs. Beware of gum especially if you are having video or mostly reportage photography. You will be horrified to know what we look like when we chew... And again smokers get red eyes, so have those drops ready.

It's also important to go for a teeth spring clean before your big day. You will take years off your appearance instantly. Be careful not to over bleach teeth since you will look like I have been over zealous with the touching up.

Why are good wedding photographers so expensive?

Firstly wedding photography is very difficult. Often the subjects are not models, there is loads of stress, very limited time, dynamic lighting conditions, relationships, grumpy priests, and Aunty Lucy who keeps jumping in front of us during the rings... the list is endless.

You have to be really good at a number of kinds of photography e.g. landscape, portraits, interiors, groups... you name it..

Photographers in general have quite a snobby attitude towards wedding photography. No one studying photography will admit to wanting to be a wedding photographer. Fashion, advertising etc. The best students go there and apparently the rest of us become wedding photographers. Well it turns out there are only a few really good wedding photographers out there. Serious photography lovers know that it's worth paying for and ruin it for everybody else.

Basically a photographer can only do a few weddings every year before they start to loose chunks of hair. The limit at a max is around fifty, as nearly all weddings fall in summer. So because they get more requests than they can do they need to make themselves more expensive. It's the old and simple supply and demand law. It's a sad truth that the photographer who won't give you a discount has loads of work and will fill your date anyway. This is often because they are good.

Ever been to Venice and fallen for the "tourist menu" and felt robbed. Paying a little for rubbish is expensive. Paying a lot for something which requires study and work, and which is of a supreme quality is value for money.

A checklist when hiring a wedding photographer

1 check references by phone and email
2. See individual wedding albums not just portfolios, it's easy to do a good portfolio but hard to produce lots of good images on one day.
3. Look around and compare to be sure of your choice
4. Make sure they offer you a binding contract
5. Make sure you know who will shoot your wedding and see images shot by that person
6. Ask other service providers what they think of the photographer; usually where there is smoke there is fire
7. Do not hire someone rude or arrogant, it will ruin your day
8. Look for someone kind, charming, gentile and sensitive
9. It’s often better to have a photographer who speaks your language or at least speak theirs, communication is essential
10. Look for a photographer who is interested in your ideas and is flexible with his/her style
11. Remember photographers who offer large discounts and highly reduced rates are not working a lot. This could be that they are very talented and just starting out. In which case you are lucky. But usually it means they don't have bookings.

The Brides Emergency Kit

Nausea and headache tablets
Tampons
Nail scissors
Eye drops
Tissues
A charged working cell phone with all the numbers you need
Extra flesh coloured knickers
Something warm that is white
White umbrella (if you have one it won't rain)
Flat comfortable white ballerina's (you can get gorgeous fold up ones)
The spray instant spot remover and brush
Floss
Safety pins
Needle and thread (in your colours)
A little extra ribbon in your colours
A sparkling evening dress just encase something silly happens involving you and a glass of red wine
Portable steam iron
Extra stockings
Plasters
Mosquitoes repellent

The Bomboniere Perspective

So in Italy there is the tradition of giving a small favour to your guests on their departure. These are often expensive, useless and seldom match the taste of all the guests. I think generosity brings happy fortune and I recommend a small donation to a worth while charity instead. The guest can be informed of your gift on their behalf with a small card accompanied by delicious Italian confetti. At the moment there are the most incredible flavours available like pear and cheese cake. Instead of adding to the world pollution problem you can spread a little love and gererosity.

Getting perspective on the whole subject of your wedding can only be good. Sometime we forget just how lucky and spoilt we are. We get upset about nonsense while life passes us by. Getting perspective and getting grateful will help you appreciate everything. Feel lucky, you are. So many people never find love, let alone someone who is prepared to promise forever. Get real and get happy.

The Buddhists believe desire is suffering. Remember you already have more than most.